“I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.”

Rosalia de Castro

Today I don’t know what to write about. I seem to have flushed out a lot of the questions and concerns I have about the trip. I feel like I have taken control of the things I can up front to make the trip as smooth as possible and to alleviate any anxiety. My airplane seats are chosen. I went back and forth on the old window versus aisle debate. I decided upon the window for sleeping comfort and will figure out the bathroom breaks as needed. I’ve researched the places I will visit, the eleveations of the terrain I will walk, and some movies about walking- “The Wild”, “Into the Wild,” and “The Way.” I’ve watched YouTube videos on how to ride the Lisbon underground system which amazingly looks and works just like the Boston T system. It is color coded and instead of a “Charlie” ticket, you purchase a “Viva Viagem” card and load it with the fare. The kiosks allow you to pick English as the language and they take credit cards. I spoke to the gentleman at the hotel where I will be the first night, and he spoke perfect English with a beautiful accent. I have a feeling that, like Italy, it will be fairly easy to interact with the English-speaking Portuguese. I will learn a couple key words” Ola (hello), Agradecimento (thank you), and Adeus (good bye). I have to remember I am not traveling to a third world country.

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It is an amazing thing that if one writes stream-of-consciousnss about the mundane, “stuff” that is more worthy of consideration begins to pop up. In Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way,” she has readers engage in an exercise called “Morning Pages.” Three pages of free hand are written every morning. It could be considered a “brain dump”, rattling on about the “nothings” that make up every day. She also points out that at about the halfway point (hmmm…see yesterday’s post), something begins to shift and the “meat” of the writing begins to reveal what is really bubbling below the surface. And today’s writing solidifies that I really, really do NOT like not knowing what is coming around the corner. I like to know.

I seem to ask John to predict the future a lot. I like answers, and most often he replies, “I don’t know.” Grrrr. Those words make me hold my breath. How am I supposed to prepare if I don’t know? It often prevents me from enjoying half of my trip because I spend so much time trying to acclimate to the my new surroundings and finding my feet. Ironically, on this trip, I pretty much have to find my feet right away. Or I have to use them right away. This I do know. And maybe that is enough. If I control what I can and trust my feet, the rest will follow. Maybe this addresses a “Why?”- to become more comfortable with the unknown so that instead of fearing it, I can be inspired by it.

Note: I recommend Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way, if you are looking to recover your creativity. It could be a little too spiritually “out there” for some, but it does have great quotes in the margins. Interestisngly Julia is the daughter of Martin Scorsese.

Note: Matthew and Liz have finished the last class of their freshman and junior years. Charlie continues to enjoy lifting and wraps up school in two weeks, and Caroline gets married in five months. Congratulations! Conor and William are busy with baseball and t-ball when they aren’t wrestling one another. Whew. I wish I could slow time just a bit. I do know that great things are waiting around all of your corners!